Why is this so hard?

I spent last weekend getting ready for my friend to come into town. Actually, it wasn't the whole weekend. But I did spend Saturday doing a lot of nothing. I went to West Seattle to Campl Long to walk. I needed a change of pace from my neighborhood. And I think it might have been a bad idea. I spent the whole time thinking about my ex. Not bad things, but thinking about our relationship and the good stuff and trying to work out in my head where it was that it changed for him. It's not that I'm mad anymore. I'm not. I'm just frustrated. I just don't understand what happened. And to get an email from him, out of the blue, just when I was getting to a point where I wasn't thinking about him. I know he didn't mean any harm. Or at least I hope he didn't. As far as the break up goes, I feel like I'm right back where I started... back trying to figure things out that I can't ever really know the answers to because he's got the answers. I'm frustrated and upset that he hasn't emailed back. And I think I'm even more upset that he emailed. So much can get misunderstood in emails. There's no sense of tone in an email. So now I'm left to try and decipher his email. If he was hurt by my response, that was not my intention. Again, emails can me be misunderstood. I just need answers in order for me to be able to really fully move on. So, I guess, if you're reading this... pick up the phone and call. I just want to be able to get past this so we can be friends. I truly believe that there are reasons that you are attracted to the people you choose to date. Even after that physical part dies there's still all the other qualities that are there. And if they do not lead to the "big love" they can lead to really great friendships.