New pants, new outlook on life
What can I say, new pants can do wonders for your outlook on life. I also realized tonight, that I like going out. And I'm going to do it more often.
As far as the ex, well, here's the thing - I'm angry. And I have every right to be. I'm mad at the way he, or should I say, I ended it. (As I had to be the one to break up with myself.) For someone who cared about me and had feelings for me, to not even have the decency to do it himself. Yeah, breaking up is awful. It hurts no matter how you do it. But to not even look me in the eye or even say it, that just disrespectful. And it hurts a thousand times more. Then when you email me a month or so later, to see how I'm doing and I email you back, saying, be honest with me and yourself, why are you really emailing? And you don't respond. Again, I feel disrespected. If you had responded and been honest with me, I would have been able to forgive you. But don't email me and expect me to absolve you of any wrong doing. I can't do that. I know you feel bad, possibly even guilty for the way you broke up with me, but that doesn't mean that sending and email saying basically nothing, will patch things up. You hold all the cards. You're the one who broke it off (and quite honestly, I'm not even really sure what your reasons were) and you can move on. I'm left wondering what happened. So until you can pick up a phone and deal with whatever confrontation may happen, I can not absolve you of your guilt. That is if you really do want to be friends. I'll eventually forgive you, but I will never look at you the same way. Maybe by the time the Reverend Horton Heat or the triathlon rolls around I'll be able to and want to, talk to you.
And now that I've said that, I'm done. I'm moving on. I need to do what is best for me.
As far as the ex, well, here's the thing - I'm angry. And I have every right to be. I'm mad at the way he, or should I say, I ended it. (As I had to be the one to break up with myself.) For someone who cared about me and had feelings for me, to not even have the decency to do it himself. Yeah, breaking up is awful. It hurts no matter how you do it. But to not even look me in the eye or even say it, that just disrespectful. And it hurts a thousand times more. Then when you email me a month or so later, to see how I'm doing and I email you back, saying, be honest with me and yourself, why are you really emailing? And you don't respond. Again, I feel disrespected. If you had responded and been honest with me, I would have been able to forgive you. But don't email me and expect me to absolve you of any wrong doing. I can't do that. I know you feel bad, possibly even guilty for the way you broke up with me, but that doesn't mean that sending and email saying basically nothing, will patch things up. You hold all the cards. You're the one who broke it off (and quite honestly, I'm not even really sure what your reasons were) and you can move on. I'm left wondering what happened. So until you can pick up a phone and deal with whatever confrontation may happen, I can not absolve you of your guilt. That is if you really do want to be friends. I'll eventually forgive you, but I will never look at you the same way. Maybe by the time the Reverend Horton Heat or the triathlon rolls around I'll be able to and want to, talk to you.
And now that I've said that, I'm done. I'm moving on. I need to do what is best for me.
posted by Becky at 11:02 PM
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