baby steps

I'm still dealing with the break up. I suppose there were signs, but I'm not sure I noticed them. I think I just wrote them off as work related. I don't know. I'm tired of trying to figure it out. He's the one that has all the answers. I don't hate him. I'm just hurt and I'll eventually get over it. All of this brought a lot of stuff up to the surface that I wasn't really expecting. So I'm dealing with a lot of other things than just this break up. I think the hardest part of all of this is being able to trust someone. He didn't lie to me, but he also wasn't honest with me when he started feeling the way he did. It just seems like everything happened in the last two weeks. And I can't imagine that it was just in the last two weeks that he was feeling this way. I just don't know. I've got a lot of stuff to figure out.
I think I'm gonna try going for a swim tonight.
All I can say right now is, "I don't know. I just don't know."