Waiting for mom to arrive

This weekend a difficult one for me. I was able to make it thru work ok, but I got home and started to do laundry and then locked myself in my basement. I ended up having to cut a hole in the basement wall thru to my kitchen. After that, it was all down hill. I wrote an email to my ex explaining why I was upset and asking him to explain himself. And on Sunday I got an response. He explained what he was feeling and why he did what he did. Everyone wants me to hate him, but I don't. Don't get me wrong. I'm mad. I'm hurt. I'm upset. But I don't hate him. I think he was a coward in the way that he broke up with me. And I feel lied to. And that's what brought up a lot more issues that aren't related to him and our break up. I spent most of Sunday night sick and not sleeping and had to call in sick to work on Monday.

Thankfully my friend Darren had the day off so I spent it with him. Not really doing much of anything but it was good to not be at home and dwelling on all of this. I made an appointment with a therapist and my mom is coming out to stay with me for a couple of days to make sure I'm doing ok. I just wish I could stop crying and get passed all this, but I guess in time that will happen.