Mom leaves today
It was a good but tiring weekend. I promised my therapist that I would go swimming at least 3 times before our next meeting, so I went swimming on Saturday morning. It felt good to swim. Part of me wished that I could just stay in the pool until all of this pain and sadness disappeared.
Mom had cleaned and organized my entire apartment by Friday so we went out and got some baskets and such to make sure everything had a place. I don't know what I would have done if mom hadn't come out. It's going to be hard for me to say goodbye to her today. We spent the rest of Saturday getting the last little bits of stuff for the apartment and putting together a desk. Mom loves Nordstrom's Rack so we went there. I just find that where I would normally be ok with being out all day and being active, I just get tired. Incredibly tired. I feel like my whole body is being forced down with weight. Like someone is pressing down on my shoulders with tremendous force.
We had dinner with my friend Hillary which was nice. It was nice to see someone who I felt like knew what I was going thru. Not that mom doesn't know, it's just that she's feeling something different.
Yesterday we did a bit more shopping. Finished up the apartment, talked about my budget and got ready to have a couple people over for coffee, tea and cake. It was kinda like an open house. That and my friends have promised to make sure that I keep the apartment looking the way it does now. I think it will be good for me. It will give me a routine. Something that will hopefully help me take my mind off of things.
It's still very hard for me to go out. There's always something somewhere that reminds me of him or something we did or said we'd do. I know in time it will get easier but right now, it's just overwhelming.
Mom had cleaned and organized my entire apartment by Friday so we went out and got some baskets and such to make sure everything had a place. I don't know what I would have done if mom hadn't come out. It's going to be hard for me to say goodbye to her today. We spent the rest of Saturday getting the last little bits of stuff for the apartment and putting together a desk. Mom loves Nordstrom's Rack so we went there. I just find that where I would normally be ok with being out all day and being active, I just get tired. Incredibly tired. I feel like my whole body is being forced down with weight. Like someone is pressing down on my shoulders with tremendous force.
We had dinner with my friend Hillary which was nice. It was nice to see someone who I felt like knew what I was going thru. Not that mom doesn't know, it's just that she's feeling something different.
Yesterday we did a bit more shopping. Finished up the apartment, talked about my budget and got ready to have a couple people over for coffee, tea and cake. It was kinda like an open house. That and my friends have promised to make sure that I keep the apartment looking the way it does now. I think it will be good for me. It will give me a routine. Something that will hopefully help me take my mind off of things.
It's still very hard for me to go out. There's always something somewhere that reminds me of him or something we did or said we'd do. I know in time it will get easier but right now, it's just overwhelming.
posted by Becky at 8:31 AM
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