Took mom to the airport
I took mom to the airport. I cried uncontrollably for about an hour. I know it's going to be difficult and it's going to be a long road back to being back to myself again. I do feel like I can do it. I just feel very tired right now. I'm beat. I feel like I've been beaten up by the world.
I'm having a hard time dealing with not having my ex in my life. Everywhere I go and everything I do seems to have a memory or reminder of him. I'm reminded of him at the supermarket, the drive to work, starting up my computer, Ikea, Target, the movies... it all hurts. I wonder if he feels the same way. Does it hurt him when he goes to a store and they play some goofy Kenny Loggins song that we used to laugh at? Does it hurt when he goes to the supermarket and he picks up some apples and he's reminded of the many times he used to pick on me because I don't like apples? I don't know. I guess I'll never know unless he tells me. I just will never understand how someone can be so into someone and their relationship and then in a span of a month, it's the complete opposite. I want to think that there's something else at work here. I want to believe that once we get out shit together, we'll get back together. but I know, deep down that probably won't happen. That's a movie ending and I don't have movie endings in my life.
I'm having a hard time dealing with not having my ex in my life. Everywhere I go and everything I do seems to have a memory or reminder of him. I'm reminded of him at the supermarket, the drive to work, starting up my computer, Ikea, Target, the movies... it all hurts. I wonder if he feels the same way. Does it hurt him when he goes to a store and they play some goofy Kenny Loggins song that we used to laugh at? Does it hurt when he goes to the supermarket and he picks up some apples and he's reminded of the many times he used to pick on me because I don't like apples? I don't know. I guess I'll never know unless he tells me. I just will never understand how someone can be so into someone and their relationship and then in a span of a month, it's the complete opposite. I want to think that there's something else at work here. I want to believe that once we get out shit together, we'll get back together. but I know, deep down that probably won't happen. That's a movie ending and I don't have movie endings in my life.
posted by Becky at 1:26 PM
2 Comments:
This time, I came to your blogsite specifically to read what you have written.
Why did he suddenly leave you? There's nothing on this in your writings.
But one thing that is really marvellous is the way you express yourself. You have listed craft as your area of interest. Do you realise that you can write well?
Smooth communication is a skill. You possess it.
He left because he said that while he was completely enamored with me when we first started dating, after a couple of months that feeling when away and he was no longer attracted to me. I believe is the gist of it.
While I have to say, I'm not a big believe in religion. So the comments about the Lord kinda threw me. But I do appreciate your comments.
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